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Sunday, October 30, 2011

freedom of speech/freedom of the press

Today was really confusing.  I woke up in a really relaxed, good mood. And I wasn't in any pain.  For ME that's a big deal. I mean, it's been raining. It's been snowing. I had half a glass of wine yesterday (in addition to my regular dosages of pain meds, adavan, anti seizures, digestion meds and heart meds). That was a a risk.  But I did NOT have a headache this morning. I had had a really fun day in the city with my hubby after an equally fun night at a costume party with friends, where we watched the hometown team of one of my guests win the world series. My daughter is in college in that city so they were texting all night.
  My "high" or balloon was shot down by a friend who told me (more in tone than in words) that the party couldn't have been that much fun because there were less people than in fewer years.
  Well, I had fun. My guests had fun. The food was really, really good. The music was really good and we could get on the dance floor we wanted. Nobody was offensive. Nobody was overly drunk or unseemly. (I must be getting old by the way, that I notice and/or comment on such things)
   I am not a 'verbally' confrontative person (unless it has to do with one of my kids---then WATCH OUT). When we were in high school, or at least where I went to high school, we wrote notes to one another. Sometimes really long ones. We passed them in the hall in the morning or at lunch or whenever. We vented then. Maybe that's why I'm good at writing. But verbally? No. not me. I'm an emotional person, and when face to face, my emotions get in the way of coherency.  SO I vented on Facebook, BUT, I kept it anonymous.  The only comment made were by people from my hometown and perhaps 1 or 2 people around here.  Then the bully campaign began, so I removed the post as I was told I was humiliating someone. I NEVER named names, but I was being a bully. Forget freedom of speech or freedom of the press or anything like that.
    When the word Humiliation was used, I was reminded of Cinderella and the glass slipper.  you know the old saying " if the shoe fits, wear it",? How can one feel humiliated unless one recognizes oneself?
Do you think people realize what they say, and they KNOW instinctively who they think they can get away with it with?
     I wonder if, like a pheremone, I give off some kind of odor that encourages dumping on me. Its ok for people to say whatever they want, but since writing is my only way of being heard for defense, for being actually heard, I'm NOT supposed to defend.  Somehow I think this is wrong.
    I think I'll keep writing.

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