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Saturday, August 20, 2011

Family time is imorant, no matter how old

I have always been a big proponent of making time at the end of the summer  for my husband and my two kids and I to spend a few days alone together before the hustle and bustle of school began. Evan when my daughte waas skating competitvely and this was frowned upon as she had just been away at camp, I always reasoned that a long weekend wouldn't make or break her.
We had years of  playing on the beach, the 4 of us, building sand castles, or wathiching my son and my husband killing thimselves learning how to skimboard (OOOOO YOU Need TO WAX THE BOTTOM????), we had a year when it raind and the 4 of us sat of the floor of a rented beach front room playing rummycube and eating pretzels.
4-5 days, or 2-3. It really doesn't matter.  this alone time, most of it, were meals and days WITHOUT cell phones we decided, were enough to remind us of the fact that we are a family first, and then whatever to whomever.  We have always had a speciaal bond. My kids (no longer children) have always had a good relationship. This time away alone, just reminds them of who they are, without all the distractions of the outside world.  Even if someone can't afford to "go away", which we reallly couldn't for a long time, a weekend at any hotel nearby with an on site swimming pool and restaurant would do for a night or two.  Before schhool, and teams, and friends, and pressure. It's a good time to remind your high school kids of the fact that you LOVE THEM and THEY CAN CALL YOU NO MATTER WHAT.  Your college kids can be reminded of this too!
Your kids are only single and YOURS for a very short time. TAKE ADVANTAGE. you will remember this and so will they.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

squeeze bottle ketchup invented by woman

I have come to the conclusion that squeeze bottle ketchups were invented by women. My trainer, who is a guy, didn't get this thought process.  My Physical therapist, who is a man, did not follow this thought process.  My yoga instructor, a woman, TOTALLY understood.
Think about it ladies, and men who are married to ladies, or who have mothers and grandmother who are "north of 40". Think about the first time you were out in public and you needed to pour ketchup out of the bottle for yourself or your child etc, and YOU FELT THE LOWER PART OF YOUR UPPER ARM  the part that USED TO BE a tricep SWING BACK AND FORTH.  You could almost HEAR it making a loud LOOK AT ME noise like Jan and her boyfriend running to each other in slow motion on The Brady Bunch.  Everyone could SEE!!!!! SO either, you would NEVER be able to eat french fries with ketchup in public again, OR, an alternative needed to be found.
VOILA!!!!!! the Squeeze bottle was born!

Monday, August 8, 2011

Sadness and Depression 2 separate things

I had a conversation today with someone who stated that she thought she might be depressed, but felt guilty because she has 'no reason' to be. She lives in a nice home, has no financial worries, she's healthy and her children are healthy. Yet, she has many days when she does not feel like getting out of bed, or doing anything and was confused.
I explained, there is a difference between feeling sad, and being depressed.  She might not have a reason to 'be sad', but 'depression' is a chemical imbalance, and cannot always be helped, or recognized, and very often runs in families.
If you find that you are no longer interested in your normal activities, or don't want to wake up, or just want to sleep all day---and don't feel like there is a specific "reason" to be this way, --perhaps you should go and speak with someone and give your self a break.  Asking for help is not a sign of weakness--it is just the opposite.

Sunday, August 7, 2011


Well, it was great! Perseverance pays off! I will continue to believe that while positive thinking might not totally CURE you of serious ailments, A GREAT ATTITUDE, and a DESIRE to LIVE A FULL LIFE will. It helps that I have the support of an amazing husband and friends, and unbelievable children. But truly, the ONLY ONE who can make your life YOU.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

According to Allison: perserverence

According to Allison: perserverence: "I am going into the city tonight to stay in a chic hotel with my husband. We planned this at the beginning of the summer when one of those ..."


I am going into the city tonight to stay in a chic hotel with my husband.  We planned this at the beginning of the summer when one of those discount sights online was selling nights at this hotel at major discounted rates.  He suggested it, which he often does, one of the many things I love.  Like a mini vacation within our funky city in an area that is a lot of fun no matter what time of day.
Of course, I have been dealing with a significantly painful ovarian cyst all week.  I figured, no problem, I'll take some pain meds, and besides, after a few more days in my cycle its GOT to get better, right? (even though the Dr.s are talking about surgery and the thought of my 10th laporoscopic procedure on my belly does not a happy girl make). Anyway, me, being me, I pay as little attention to pain as possible.  Last night at dinner, My hubby mentioned it might be fun to go to a club tonight too (even though it is the middle of the summer and the crowd will be, um, different then it would be otherwise and let's face facts--we are not in our 20s). I sent a text to a high school friend who I've re=connected with in a mutually nice way, who I guess you can say 'knows people". Low and behold we are going to a club tonight. I get to feel like the big MACHA,and hubby gets to pay the bill ;).
Well, I woke up with fierce migraine.  Of course.  What else is new. It would seem for most of my life, whenever I have had fun things planned, I haven't felt well. HOWEVER, it doesn't stop me. As I used to tell the women in the CCFA support group I led, if you can figure out a way to live with the pain, to function thru the  pain, so that you have short bursts of happiness, then do it. It MAY be that I will take a nap in between dinner and the club--I'm getting old! OR, I might not have to! I probably will bring LOTS of meds to help me feel better in the wee hours into tomorrow and all day tomorrow. BUT, what I AM NOT WILLING to do, IS TO SIT AROUND COMPLAINING  WOE IS ME.
LIFE IS FOR LIVING.  I might have to do it more slowly than other women my age. I might have to do it with more medication, or more alternative thinking and methods than women my age, but I will do it.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Some quotes on family

G-d could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers........a Jewish proverb.

Family isn't about whose blood you have. It's about who you care about....Trey Parker and Pat Stone

One of the Greatest things a father can do for his children is to love their mother....Howard Hunter.

Monday, August 1, 2011

I've been thinking about family a lot for the past few days. Maybe this is because my kids are both away and I have extra time. Or maybe it's because my kids are getting older and my time of 'being their universe' is slowly coming to an end. Who knows, maybe it's hormonal ;). Whatever the case I find it interesting and comforting to know that I am NOT the only one, male or female, who feels this way.
While out for dinner with friends the other night the subject of me being a bit sad about the changes and directions that certain family relationships have undergone. I should not be surprised by this change-----I happen to come from a particularly dysfunctional background (probably why I am venting to strangers).
Nevertheless, I was surprised to hear that other people who may or may not have messed up or 'latch-key' childhoods were finally letting go of the pretense that they did. They too had family members that were estranged.
I have learned that FRIENDS ARE THE FAMILY YOU CHOOSE FOR YOURSELF. I have a sister-in-law who is like my little sister. This didn't happen overnight but it happened. I have an EX sister-in-law who I only speak to about once every 6 months, but our children are related and share a bloodline and we are 2 intelligent women who wish each other well . I have wonderful fabulous friends who I wouldn't trade for the world! These are my family. I chose them. I 'picked them for my team'.
Everyone should feel like they are on a winning team.